


A Road as of yet Untraveled

by Evalangui



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: F/F, F/M, Interspecies Relationship(s), Multi, Open Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 07:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2016825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evalangui/pseuds/Evalangui
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post S04e09. Lauren doesn't choose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Road as of yet Untraveled

**Author's Note:**

> Lauren-Dyson. Background Bo/Dyson, Bo/Lauren. The exchange in question just ate my brain. I literally wrote most of this story on my phone while sitting on one of the chairs hardware shops set outside to tempt you to buy them. I just couldn't stop (also, they had A.C). So no beta or anything, feel free to concrit!
> 
> DYSON: I know you have your  
> brains and your science, but it would make me feel a lot  
> better if you also had a knife.
> 
> LAUREN:Thank you, Dyson.  
> \- You're welcome, Dr. Lewis.
> 
> \- You know? I'm not sure if I could either.
> 
> \- What?  
> \- Choose.
> 
> \- I could.
> 
> \- Yeah...
> 
> \- Let's do this.

 

 

Lauren doesn't choose.

If she had to, she would choose Bo. Not only because of the sex, she likes to think. No. Not only because of her gender. Nobody can’t argue about the superiority of succubus sex. Dyson and Lauren never talk about it but she thinks that there is simply no way to _speak_ of it.

But she wouldn’t simply choose Bo because of that, the same way Dyson wouldn’t. He might have said it was a though choice but even if Lauren showed any interest, she doesn’t kid herself that she is any competition for Bo in Dyson’s eyes. Bo is like something out of a fairytale, a heroine pure and passionate, magical beyond magic because who else would be looking for justice and protecting the innocent after the life she is led? Who else would be so uncompromisingly herself as to refuse any allegiance except that given by her heart? To resist all offers of power as if they meant nothing? As if it couldn’t stop the pain she knows so well.

She would choose Bo. But she doesn't have to choose. She isn't even sure there is a choice when what Bo needs and what Lauren can possibly give are so wildly, disproportionately different. It’s everything she has and she knows it to be so little. Like trying to feed a lion with scraps from the table. She knows it well, an accurate, measurable, irremediable and unforgettable fact. Her own theory and her own experiments coming back to haunt her with a knowledge that means she cannot have the one person she truly wants. She still doesn’t know how she let herself believe Bo could be hers alone, in body and soul.

But Lauren learns from her mistakes, she resented Bo's liaisons even when she had agreed to them and she would resent them always. She doesn’t want to be angry at the magical equivalent of Bo eating every day. She is human but she is not narrow minded, she can like the facts or not but she will not deny them again. If she lets Bo have Dyson, and Dyson have Bo she can let herself feel jealous. No shame in wanting the attention of your girlfriend, not if it's really on someone else. She doesn’t want to be jealous of a snack. She doesn’t want to be on the same level as a snack either, and even if Bo loves her, the idea of her performing the same acts that leave Lauren melted and compliant in her arms with strangers… The idea that it isn’t the connection they share that results in such passion it’s unbearable. She knows that it isn’t so, she knows sex with strangers isn’t the same. She’s certainly sown her own wild oats. But with Bo it means something to her and she wants it to mean something to Bo.

And Dyson means something, it doesn't even matter, she's come to realize, whether Bo is actually sleeping with him. So Lauren can be magnanimous, she can also get something she needs out of it, someone else strong enough to withstand the storms that Bo brings with her. Lauren is strong but her strength is in her mind, and smart knows the chances go up when you have more than one escape route, more than one ally.

And Bo... lustful yet virtuous, Bo doesn't dislike casual sex, it's probably not a choice her body will allow her. Now that Lauren has helped her regulate her feeding she is finally free to enjoy what she is, after years of repressing it. But if sex is enjoyable, intimacy is precious. Perhaps another remnant of years of going without while on the run, perhaps just more proof of how human Fae are.

Lauren has seen the way Bo will pour herself into relationships. Friendship, family, romance. Fae, human, unknown. Bo craves connection with a desperation only curtailed by her morality. And, as much as Lauren loves her, Bo will often forget about good and evil when it comes to those she loves.

So it is Dyson she sits down and makes the offer to. She can't tell Bo first, Bo is not the one with something to lose. Bo wouldn't understand what this means or perhaps she would, perhaps she would refuse what she needs because she loves her. Lauren is the smart one, it’s up to her to make the sensible choice, the only way forward that won’t destroy them both.

Dyson doesn't seem to get it, either. "Do you mean a threeway?"

"No." Lauren sighs, frustrated. “I mean you get to have what you had with her and I do, too, and she doesn't go off to get ambushed in alleyways."

He blinks at her. "Why would you do that?" He asks, obviously not convinced Lauren will give up being Bo's one and only out of concern for her safety during feeding. It isn't the only reason, it's true and Lauren is not out to trick Dyson.

"Do you have any reason to think she will choose me?" She asks, since this is what it's all about and they both know it.

Dyson doesn't answer, simply looks pained.

"Oh." She feels like an idiot, the scientist who forgot to consider simple biology.

"I can't walk away but I am not going to try to take her away from you." He says. "I blew my chance."

"And I didn't blow mine?!" She snorts.

"You were kidnapped."

"You were forced to give up your love for her to save her life!" And this is a different contest and somehow he has got her playing for team Dyson.

He seems to have run out of logic because he returns to his simple earnestness. "I will not interfere."

"Because you feel sorry for me,"

"Because I care about you both, you make each other happy."

"And you think you will have her anyway."

"I don't know that!" He growls. "Do you think love for us is eternal? Just because we live longer, it doesn't mean we can't change our minds. She could forget about me, she is so _young_ and already so powerful our elders fear her. She could become _anything_ , have anyone. Yes, I have more time than you, but that's all. I don't have her heart in a box or her vows, I have what I feel and hope. But I won't take happiness from her, I won’t take the way she lights up when you enter a room, not for my own benefit."

"So why should I do it?" She asks, finally. "Why should I lie awake at night imagining that she will leave me if I'm not strong enough, if she imagines she cannot protect me? Just so I can make sure she stays away from your bed? Not even anybody else's bed, just yours because one thing I cannot do is keep up with a succubus. If you can make her happy and keep her strong, if you can help me take care of her and I don't have to pretend I don't see what she has with you..." She closes her eyes and admits. "It would be a relief. It would be a relief to just say it. I cannot do it alone, I love Bo and i can’t keep her safe, I am not enough for her to live off."

"Nobody is." Dyson says.

"I know her sexual history, Dyson, she was my patient when you two..."

"Not what I meant," He interrupts. “Not in bed. She needed Kenzi, and Trick. And I had Hale. Nobody is enough to be the only one, it's a trick. A lie."

Lauren opens her mouth, to object because objecting comes naturally to her, but then she closes it again. She thinks of Nadia in the jungle and in her lab, of the years of being her only hope, draining herself dry to be allowed even the chance of being enough.

"I don't think you even realise that Bo can’t be enough for you, either."

"I have my work," She says, certain it’s true. When nothing else is left, she’s got science. When nothing else about her matters, her true value remains. Lauren loves Bo, but she _is_ a scientist. She couldn’t stop being one without losing her very self.

Dyson stares into her eyes to say "You have me." and it isn't sexual but it's honest in a way that cannot be anything but intimate.

Lauren hesitates, then she nods, she feels weak for wanting to have him. For how much she wants to touch him. Desire is empowering, but the need to be held? Dyson doesn’t doubt, it is not in his nature to doubt, he swoops her into his arms, buries his nose in her hair. Offering comfort, taking it.

That is the thing about physical contact, it is always mutual. She hugs him back, not completely comfortable but comforted nonetheless. His presence, his smell, his warmth, signaling safety to her body beyond her mind’s ability to question.

When they part, Lauren has lost her impulse. She believes she’s right, she has her reasons and she can feel it. She knows denial is not truth and truth is unquestionably better. Whether reality agrees with you or not, you must agree with reality. It is the only way forward, the only way to change it, even slightly. But she’s tired, raw with emotion she didn’t even know was there so she steps back in silence.

Dyson speaks, brave, contrary Dyson. “Have you spoken to Bo about this?”

Lauren shakes her head. “There was no point.”

“And you think there is now?” He tries to sound doubtful but Lauren knows now that her offer is irresistible. Whether it’s true or not that her humanity gives her an edge, Dyson seems to believe so.

“Yes.” She says, biting back the rest.

He takes a moment, then he nods, eyes on hers. Almost challenging, but it only takes a moment for his shoulders to sag. “Speak to Bo and we will see what she thinks.”

Lauren is not one to gloat, she gives a firm nod back and retreats. Her victory feels strange but, she glances back and finds Dyson’s gaze firmly on her still, it is a victory, of that she is certain.

 

**The end**

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
